Elevate your hand when you’ve ever been advised you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too formidable. Too… you.
For lots of ladies, that’s the cue to begin shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, stunning edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We study to censor our jokes, cover our huge desires, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves shall be rejected.
However right here’s the tough-love, liberating reality: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 motive you are feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.
Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one strategy to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and eventually dial down your stress for good.
The Drawback With Shrinking Your self
Consistently enhancing your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On high of holding again the actual you, you’re expending an enormous quantity of psychological and emotional vitality to take action.
Each time you chunk your tongue, faux a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your valuable vitality reserves.
This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even once you’re surrounded by individuals.
The reality? You’re primarily in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the individuals round you’re responding to that faux model. That, my buddy, is a recipe for deep loneliness.
Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter
Once you cease apologizing in your enthusiasm, ardour, or huge, generally messy emotions, one thing unimaginable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.
Friendships
This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer in your ambition as an alternative of seeing it as a risk. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re absolutely seen and understood with out judgment.
Partnerships
In love, this implies discovering a companion who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the individual you’re—not the individual you faux to be. The suitable companion will encourage your boldest desires and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)
Communities
In your bigger neighborhood, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, e book membership, or a web-based area, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic modifications.
Once you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or go away it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your individuals. Those who go away? They have been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and vitality.
Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress
Embracing your “too much-ness” can be one of the vital highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.
Once you’re now not policing each phrase you say or emotion you are feeling, you release large quantities of psychological bandwidth.
-
As an alternative of agonizing over whether or not it is best to ship your buddy that nerdy article you really liked—you simply ship it, they usually get excited too.
-
As an alternative of hiding your huge enterprise concept—you share it, and immediately the suitable connection seems.
-
As an alternative of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your companion rises to satisfy you.
That is what dwelling authentically seems like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.
Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving
Being “an excessive amount of” is just not a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve got a robust mild to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.
Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that can appeal to your individuals.
So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.
What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you simply’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex
Desire a Protected House to Be Totally You?
If you happen to’re prepared to satisfy your soul household TODAY and begin training full expression in a secure teaching area, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the proper place. There’s even a complete module on this very subject—so you possibly can apply it in actual life and really feel grounded when you do it. Be taught extra and be part of our highly effective neighborhood right here.
